Happy Thanksgiving De Le Petit Obama

Yes We Can! (eat a lot of pumpkin pie)

So.....

Yeah so it's been a while. In fact it's been so long that I'm betting that no one will even read this because everyone has forgotten about me and if you're looking at this right now, you're probably thinking, "hey, who's this chick again?"

Yeah, my name's Yvonne. And I suck at blogging.

You know how sometimes you just have nothing to say? For like months and months?

Well this isn't like that at all.

I've got lots to say.

But sometimes it's better to say nothing at all.

Because if you do, maybe your baby's daddy will threaten to sue you for slander EVEN THOUGH IT'S ALL TRUE AND I'LL PROVE IT IF I HAVE TO BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Um yeah, so I've chosen to just say nothing at all.

I thought about writing a post about how great it is to have Obama as president and how sometimes I find myself driving down the road and bursting into tears of joy. How sometimes I think that maybe I'll go buy an American flag and hang it outside of my door and how if I ever got to meet him, I'd probably either get arrested for trying to make out with him or have my ass beat by his wonderful Amazon of a wife for trying to make out with him.

But that seemed totally cliche.

I thought about writing a blog from the point of view of my new cat, Honey. She's been living with us for about 6 months now and I haven't even mentioned her. But really that seemed kind of pathetic.

(I still might totally do that though)

I thought about never blogging again because obviously I suck at it and the lovely ladies at Blogher are threatening to take my ads down so really what's the point right? I've thought about taking down this site all together and just never going on the internet again. But I am madly in love like the people I've met online. I consider so many of them friends now. I like reading about their lives and sharing mine. So the point is, I'm here to say that I'm not dead and that I'm currently racking my brain for things that I can write about tomorrow and the next day and the day after that and forever more so that I don't have to go this long without blogging again.

I guess blogging is a little like sex to me. It's super fabulous when I'm doing it but if I don't do it for a while I sort of forget how great it is and after a while all I can think about is how much effort it takes and how much I'd rather be sleeping. It's not until I find myself in bed again that I remember how much fun it is and resolve to do it much more often.

I guess what I'm saying is that looking at my old familiar page and thinking about all the blogs that I'm about to visit is totally turning me on right now.

So Sue Me, I Admire People With Rhythm

I don't know this kid and I don't know much about drums. But he seems pretty damn good if you ask me. So, I'm not saying you have to go to youtube and rate the video at 5 stars. I'm only recommending it because if you do, and he wins this contest they're having, he gets a free drum set and a trip to Hollywood. And which one of you out there doesn't want to help make a poor little boy's dream's come true? Don't be a cold heartless bastard***.


Go ahead, vote here.

***If it helps your cold, cold heart, pretend he's dying of cancer. And can't walk. And is an orphan. Bet you want him to win now, don't you?

1st Day of School

Dear Monkey-Butt,

Lately I've been trying to figure out how the world managed before you came along. Not just me, but the whole world. Not just the people who know and love you, but all people, everywhere. How did we all survive before you got here?

I know the world did spin before you, but I just can't figure out how. Or why it would even bother.

I know people laughed and loved before you but I just can't imagine it was as sincere.

I think maybe we were all just living in a different world, a parallel universe, a world that just couldn't be this nice, no matter how hard it tried. Because now that you're here, the flowers seem to bloom a little brighter and the breeze blows a little sweeter and the pains are not so deep as they used to be and I truly think that the whole world has been touched by your very being.

And when your time here is over, I can only imagine that the world will lay herself down in sorrow and end right then and there with you.

And so, on behalf of the entire human race, all who came before and all who will come after, I'd like to say, "Thank you for blessing us with your presence."

Love,

Your Mom