The Divine Baby Jesus and Scratchy Butt

Found these Divino Nino Jesus prayer candles at PriceRite yesterday and just had to get them. There were only three left so I grabbed them all. My apologies to anyone who will not get a racially and quite possibly sexually inaccurate Baby Jesus candle because of my greed. Guess you'll just have to pray to Saint Jude instead. There are plenty Saint Jude candles left.

Since I work on a tight budget when grocery shopping I knew I had to sacrifice somewhere else. Now I'm not saying I'm a martyr or anything but instead of the quilted, two-ply toilet paper I'm used to, I bought the store brand single-ply pack to make up the monetary difference. Because nothing says religious devotion like a scratchy ass.

One of my favorite things about this candle is the little stick figure person carrying a cross at the bottom to remind us what happens when he gets older.

My other favorite thing is the prayer on the side which reads:

Divine Baby Jesus, we honor your sacred image. Today and forever, we elect you as lord and owner of this house. Humbly we implore your protection against any harm or evil. Bless and protect all those that reside here and guide them to divine grace, keeping them from harm and sin. (Bless our home.) Amen.

...as if to say "Yes it'd be nice if you say this whole prayer when you light this candle but in case you're feeling lazy, you can just sum it up into a nice little 'Bless our home' and call it a day.


I'd Like To Dedicate This Song To You.

My sister turned me onto this series, Flight of the Conchords a few months ago and even though this is way back from the pilot episode, it's still one of my favorites.

I might venture to say this is the best song I've ever heard, but with all the crap that they're putting on the radio now, that really isn't that hard to believe is it?

So now, I'd like to dedicate this song to you...the most beautiful girl in the room.


A Letter To My Sister

Dear Michelle,

When you go around telling people how horrible I was to you growing up, I want you to look back at this picture and remember that I HELD YOUR DRESS UP SO YOUR BOOBIES WOULDN'T SHOW!!!

Your Sister