February 12, 2008: Lesson of the Day

Lesson of the Day Week: You let 'em touch your boobies ONE time and they think they own you!!!!

Jeez.

Tonight I'm Going To Sleep With A Pair Of His Dirty Socks

So I'm sitting here at my desk all day thinking, "Damn, it really smells like Man-Friend in here."

And enjoying it.

Finally I look around for the source of the smell and realize that he has left a pair of his (worn) pants hanging over the back of the very chair I'm sitting in and that this whole time I have been happily relishing in the scent of his dirty butt.


I mean, that's love, right?

:)-

Private School Girl

(A Poem)

Private school girl

in your tiny plaid skirt

and creepy winter tan.

Driving your daddy's SUV

laughing

without a care.

(Because the world is all about you.)

Private school girl

with your perfect hair

and really happy skip.

Do you know

how obnoxious

you are?

(I would like to shoot you.)

They Give Crackheads Awards Too!

So I was given an award the other day by fellow blogger Rachel.

But obviously there had been a misprint. So I fixed it.

The evening ended, like every other award show I've attended, with me making out with my award.

It is now framed and hung in my foyer.

And now for other people who deserve the award (almost) as much as me:

1. Cynnie- Has quite possibly the most awesome boobies I've seen on the web.

2. Rachel Schell - Our relationship began over a year ago when I started stalking her because of her fabulous photography. I have continued stalking her to this day. Go look at her photography. NOW!

3. New York Dactyl- Tall, blond, beautiful...and soooo much more (to find out what more is, go read her blog).

4. Angelique- I really love her honesty. Also, the girl can write! And she's fun and awesome and all the other things old-school goth girls are made of.

5. Miss Little Pea - Absolutely adorable AND smart as can be. A very hard combination to find.

6. Julianne B- Super cool is an understatement.

7. Terry- I have never met a sexier nun.

8. Empress Magnificent-She doesn't have a real blog and for the life of me I can't figure out why. So I linked to her myspace page. She blogs there. I heart her.

Oh , I think you're only supposed to give out six. Ah well, I'll stop here and call it even.

Tomorrow's Post: What Happens To Your Stomach When You Drink 18 Cans Of Coke In 9 Hours.