4.25.2007

I'll get over you when the grass rolls over me...

Awesome line don't you think?

I plan on using it from now on whenever I can...as a breakup line, a pickup line, or a makeup line. I will use it while standing in the rain with Celine Dion singing in the background. I will melt many hearts with it but am also considering more untraditional uses for the phrase. For example-


Conversation with a telemarketer
(I'm not saying this actually happened but...)


"Right now, ma'am, we can offer you a savings of 35% on a 6 year subscription to Better Home and Celebrities Driving Motor Boats Weekly."

"You know I love you right?"

"Um ma'am?"

"I mean I really love you. It really hurts that things have gotten so tough between us."

"Uh ma'am, I hardly know you."

"I know! That's exactly what I'm saying, I feel like we hardly even communicate anymore. I mean I think we could work it out if we really tried but I'm not sure if it's even worth it at this point."

"Excuse me, Ms. Page..."

"Shh, don't speak my darling. I think we both know what we have to do."

"What's that ma'am?"

"You go your way and I'll go mine. But promise me you'll never forget me. I love you...what'd you say your name was again?"

"Janet, ma'am."

"Right. Well listen Janet, fly away my little butterfly. Be free. I know you'll be happy, find love again.

"But ma'am, I need your social security number and credit card number so I can sign you up for this subscription."

"Oh Janet, you do care!"

"Okay, ma'am. You have a nice day now."

"No! No, Janet don't leave me!"

"Ma'am I have to call some other customers now. Ones that might actually buy the magazine."

"No I need you! How can I live without you?"

"I'm sure you'll get over me ma'am."

"Oh Janet, I'll get over you when the grass rolls over me."


Genius! I don't think there is any situation in which this line could not be worked into the conversation.

I think I will start calling ex-boyfriends now and trying it out. They'll probably be so impressed that I'll get lots of flowers sent to my house. I better start buying some extra vases.