Sad But True

Today I decided it would be a good idea to spin around as fast as I could in my computer chair. This lasted for about 30 seconds until I threw up.

I have found at least 4 gray hairs.

I look down on all music made after 1998.

I have a wrinkle.

My favorite thing to do on a Friday night involves reading a good book and cuddling with a seven year old.

Air fresheners excite me.

All the University students in town who used to be the really "cool-sexy-mature-guys" have suddenly become "inappropriately-too-young-to-check-out".

Sex often has to wait until the morning because we can't stay awake late enough on weeknights.

I see cute babies and spontaneously ovulate.

I recently drove over 100 miles and spent over $100.00 to find the perfect dinnerware set.

Teenagers and their excessive displays of public affection annoy me.

Children don't have respect for adults like they did when I was a kid.

My neck and back ache at the end of the day.

A clean toilet is important to me.

Sometimes I only have time to pluck one eyebrow.

I worry about paying bills.

I subscribe to "O" Magazine.


If I could go back to 5th grade instead of work, I would totally be okay with the book reports...

I'm starting to suspect I might officially be a grown-up.