I'll Take Kitchen Appliances For 500, Please

Dear Ex- Boyfriend,

there'll come a day
when I can give
the things you left away.

There'll be a time
when your stuff I pack
you'll get your toothbrush
and your t-shirts back.

I'll let go of the photos,
love letters and cards,
your deodorant, your books,
no matter how hard.

I'll learn to deal
without your smile
I'll erase the messages
and all the old emails.

But dear ex-boyfriend
Not to talk smack
but there's one thing
you won't get back.

You left it here
so I could cook for you
I wasn't sure
but it's proven tried and true.

And now my feelings
for it are hot
and you ain't getting it back,

Soups and puddings
porridge and stew
It does things no other
appliance can do.

It's made for ease,
supports my lazy ways
I can leave food cooking
in there for days.

In closing, my dear
whether you come back or not
plan on buying yourself
a new Crock Pot.

-Yours Truly

(And yes, I realize I just wrote a poem- albeit a poorly written one, about a slow cooker. But it was totally worth the forty-five minutes it took. It really is that awesome.)