You're Really Very Cute But I Have NO Idea What You're Saying!

I always wondered* what Scientology was all about.

Luckily, Tom Cruise has explained it all so thoroughly and eloquently here:

You're absolutely right Tom! It is rough and tumble, wild and wooly.

As of this moment, I would like to announce my conversion to Scientology.
I'm a born-again Scientologist, if you will.

Please, feel free to ask questions. I'd love to share my extensive knowledge** on the subject.

*wondered=don't give a flying fuck
**based entirely on this nine minute video, of course.